The days that's probably the best title I can come up with for this episode of my life. Every week there are multiple entries that could be made to this diary. Our three middle school boys make me laugh everyday in some way. Sometimes I just can't let them see that I'm laughing!
Last week my husband was insistent that the basement smelled "like the SPCA" as he refers to it. Now, the three dogs do stay in the basement while we are at work and they sleep down there. However, there are also three middle school age boys that live down there too. They shower every day. Well, every weekday. I find dirty clothes in their beds and who knows what else could be in there. The boys just aren't particularly big on cleanliness. Now, on the days that we clean, they do vacuum, sweep, mop, fold and put away laundry and assorted other chores. They aren't exactly detail oriented so we have to check over them often before clearing them on a task.
This brings me to the point of my post. The origin of the smell that had my husband so upset. I came home that night and had my oldest son help me start cleaning the basement. As usual, I gave him the vacuuming to do and I went for the room his younger brother usually cleans - the bathroom. Three boys, one bathroom. As I cleaned, I began to come up with nicknames for each of them based on the offense I know they commonly commit. I have one who doesn't really create a problem. The other one I decided to call flush. I figure if he hears it often enough, he may remember to do it. Then there's the worst, the one I call splash. Now the other two may be guilty of missing the giant hole they are supposed to go in from time to time, but splash doesn't even acknowledge the hole! Cleaning this room was about much more than cleaning the toilet. It was about taking down the cloth shower curtain and washing it. Cleaning off the side of the bathtub. Cleaning the floor and the baseboards.
The whole time I was cleaning, I was thinking to myself, those Brady boys must have had really good aim because as whiny as the Brady girls could be, I never heard one complain about Bobby peeing all over the toilet. They did have Alice however and I do not. The boys make things smell!
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Monday, December 13, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Best Weekend Ever
My very serious son told me yesterday that he had the best weekend ever this past weekend. One of my best friends (who has known him all his life) called me this afternoon to remind me how significant that statement was. You see, for my younger son, life is like one big adventure. He can make fun out of just about anything. But my older son tends to carry the weight of the world with him sometimes. Well, a lot of the time.
This fall I've watched that young man find himself. He did it through football. He's a good athlete and has done well in both baseball and soccer. But football has made as much of an impression on him as he has made on it. His hard work and big heart has earned him the respect of his peers. He's found a bond.
I have watched my football player's attitude turn around this Fall.
So why was this the best weekend ever? Well I thought it was pretty awesome myself! We went shopping at outlets in Maryland where of course they had plenty of Baltimore Ravens gear. That is his favorite team. He got a couple pair of new kicks and some new Ravens gear of his own. (My boys will shop if you mix in a fair number of athletic stores) Then we took him and his stepbrother to the Charles Town track to watch horse racing. Of course they were assessing the horses before each race and picking who they were pulling for. It was a long night and they had the endurance for it. And the next day - football in the Wild and Wonderful! We were wrapped up in as many layers as we could pile on while snow flurries fell from the cold, dry sky. We cheered on the Martinsburg Bulldogs as they defeated the Morgantown Mohicans in the West Virginia state semi-finals. Lots of hot chocolate, nachos and pretzels. Then back to our friends' house where the boys and our friends' daughter played Beatles RockBand for an hour.
All pretty simple stuff, but stuff that we all love and we did it together. Now we were a couple of children short as we let the two who don't share that love do something with their other parent. But that was okay. They were happy not to be out in the cold and neither of the other two could have kept the long hours.
We had a weekend that we will all remember. I have a son who is enjoying things in ways that I haven't seen in a very long time. I love his smiling face and I was so happy to see so much of it this Fall.
What did I have to do to get this experience. Trust in my son. You see he was under weight for one football league so he had to play in a league with guys his age but three times his size. He's 76 lbs and he played with guys that ranged from 130 lbs to 200 lbs. He only has one functioning kidney to add to the horror. But it was all he wanted. I made him promise to exercise everyday to stay strong so he could endure the hits. I listened to my mother and grandmother tell me what a bad idea this was and I watched my boy get lit up a number of times. But I also watched my boy get up and run down plays. I watched him grow more confident every week. The season is over and he's better than ever. It took a leap on my part and a lot of conversations with a 12 year old.
This fall I've watched that young man find himself. He did it through football. He's a good athlete and has done well in both baseball and soccer. But football has made as much of an impression on him as he has made on it. His hard work and big heart has earned him the respect of his peers. He's found a bond.
I have watched my football player's attitude turn around this Fall.
So why was this the best weekend ever? Well I thought it was pretty awesome myself! We went shopping at outlets in Maryland where of course they had plenty of Baltimore Ravens gear. That is his favorite team. He got a couple pair of new kicks and some new Ravens gear of his own. (My boys will shop if you mix in a fair number of athletic stores) Then we took him and his stepbrother to the Charles Town track to watch horse racing. Of course they were assessing the horses before each race and picking who they were pulling for. It was a long night and they had the endurance for it. And the next day - football in the Wild and Wonderful! We were wrapped up in as many layers as we could pile on while snow flurries fell from the cold, dry sky. We cheered on the Martinsburg Bulldogs as they defeated the Morgantown Mohicans in the West Virginia state semi-finals. Lots of hot chocolate, nachos and pretzels. Then back to our friends' house where the boys and our friends' daughter played Beatles RockBand for an hour.
All pretty simple stuff, but stuff that we all love and we did it together. Now we were a couple of children short as we let the two who don't share that love do something with their other parent. But that was okay. They were happy not to be out in the cold and neither of the other two could have kept the long hours.
We had a weekend that we will all remember. I have a son who is enjoying things in ways that I haven't seen in a very long time. I love his smiling face and I was so happy to see so much of it this Fall.
What did I have to do to get this experience. Trust in my son. You see he was under weight for one football league so he had to play in a league with guys his age but three times his size. He's 76 lbs and he played with guys that ranged from 130 lbs to 200 lbs. He only has one functioning kidney to add to the horror. But it was all he wanted. I made him promise to exercise everyday to stay strong so he could endure the hits. I listened to my mother and grandmother tell me what a bad idea this was and I watched my boy get lit up a number of times. But I also watched my boy get up and run down plays. I watched him grow more confident every week. The season is over and he's better than ever. It took a leap on my part and a lot of conversations with a 12 year old.
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Laughing Lion
Life with my 11 year old son, the Magical Elf, is nothing short of a roller coaster ride. Sometimes we are going up, sometimes we are going down, but there is very little just cruising along. The Magical Elf has a pretty severe case of ADHD. He's very bright, but has learning disabilities. He's very happy and social but very immature and usually inappropriate. This causes him to spend a lot of time frustrated with school work and with other kids his age who do not understand him so they make fun of him or avoid him.
There is no denying how challenging the Magical Elf is to raise.
Today as I walked back to my office today from picking up my lunch, I passed the toy store. There on the ground in front of the store was a Laughing Lion rolling around and doing just that - laughing. It reminded me of the Magical Elf.
You see I have learned that sometimes you have to treat the Maigcal Elf like the ocean. His moods are that powerful. And just like the tides, if you go with him instead of against him, you can manuever with more ease. So just like that Laughing Lion, when the Magical Elf thinks that nothing is serious and absolutely everything is funny, I just laugh along with him.
The Magical Elf inspires me to lighten up from time to time. To enjoy simple things more often. If you don't have a Magical Elf then treat yourself to a Laughing Lion. It will be good for you.
There is no denying how challenging the Magical Elf is to raise.
Today as I walked back to my office today from picking up my lunch, I passed the toy store. There on the ground in front of the store was a Laughing Lion rolling around and doing just that - laughing. It reminded me of the Magical Elf.
The Magical Elf inspires me to lighten up from time to time. To enjoy simple things more often. If you don't have a Magical Elf then treat yourself to a Laughing Lion. It will be good for you.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Take Time to Talk Part 2: Taking My Own Advice
After carefully crafting my thoughts for my blog post yesterday I realized that I was still not comfortable with what I felt were loose ends and missing details. In fact, my friend, Terry, even commented that I should try to dig a little deeper. My husband and I discussed the entire issue on our drive home (my car is being repaired). We decided that before we went home we should visit some of our neighbors to ask more questions and discuss what we were experiencing with our children.
We started with the person who we felt like had been taking a few too many liberties - taking the law in his own hands. The one our children are freaked out by. We learned some interesting information that points very clearly to one of our children. We both very much understood that what is going on right now is the result of multiple incidents that have taken place in the past and continue. However, even though one of our children was clearly identified as the problem, no one has called us or come to our door. And they all definitely know he is one of ours. Instead, they have confronted him and followed our other children at night.
Why would someone not just come to us. The problem could have been fixed long ago. The answer lies with the parents.
That first conversation lead us a few doors down to the house where these incidents began and where one major one unfolded. Another person who could clearly identify our son and knew who we were but had not contacted us.
We feel absolutely horrible that one of our children has been conducting himself this way. We are now discussing how we will handle the situation with that particular kid and he will be dealt with. But people have got to talk to each other! We only knew of the one major incident and had the same story out of five different kids. We had no knowledge at all of any other incidents or more investigating would have been done before now.
Ironically, all of that activity has prompted a meeting to discuss a Neighborhood Watch program. Hello folks, I am trying to wrap my brain around this. These people have been talking with each other and with other neighbors. They have even sent out emails to the entire neighborhood. But, again, NOT ONE person has approached me or my husband to tell us what we had to go to them to ask and find out for ourselves last night.
I am trying to be as respectful as I can in this situation because 1) Its the right thing to do, 2) One of our children has clearly done something wrong to them, 3) I do not know either of these people well so as I mentioned in my first post on this matter - I do not have enough information to make an accurate assessment.
This is what I can say about it. What a huge waste of time, effort, worry and everything else that has gone into this. It's a matter that could have been resolved 2 months ago in 20 minutes.
So here is today's lesson folks - Take Time to Talk to Parents Too. Call them or go to their home. Email, while efficient and non-invasive can be misconstrued and lead to more issues. Just go talk. Now I will say to those of you with younger children (both of these people have younger kids) that you are in a stage of life with your kids where you can just opt not to invite certain kids over for playdates and make everything go away. That doesn't last. The only thing that solves problems is open dialogue. Get used to talking to other kids and their parents now. You would want someone to let you know about your child before a situation got out of hand.
**As a note to clarify the "incidents" that I speak of so the level of behavior is not misconstrued. Our son has been ringing doorbells and running. We know there are others too as some incidents have occurred on specific nights that this particular child was not at our house.
I am still very interested to hear others' thoughts on this matter.
We started with the person who we felt like had been taking a few too many liberties - taking the law in his own hands. The one our children are freaked out by. We learned some interesting information that points very clearly to one of our children. We both very much understood that what is going on right now is the result of multiple incidents that have taken place in the past and continue. However, even though one of our children was clearly identified as the problem, no one has called us or come to our door. And they all definitely know he is one of ours. Instead, they have confronted him and followed our other children at night.
Why would someone not just come to us. The problem could have been fixed long ago. The answer lies with the parents.
That first conversation lead us a few doors down to the house where these incidents began and where one major one unfolded. Another person who could clearly identify our son and knew who we were but had not contacted us.
We feel absolutely horrible that one of our children has been conducting himself this way. We are now discussing how we will handle the situation with that particular kid and he will be dealt with. But people have got to talk to each other! We only knew of the one major incident and had the same story out of five different kids. We had no knowledge at all of any other incidents or more investigating would have been done before now.
Ironically, all of that activity has prompted a meeting to discuss a Neighborhood Watch program. Hello folks, I am trying to wrap my brain around this. These people have been talking with each other and with other neighbors. They have even sent out emails to the entire neighborhood. But, again, NOT ONE person has approached me or my husband to tell us what we had to go to them to ask and find out for ourselves last night.
I am trying to be as respectful as I can in this situation because 1) Its the right thing to do, 2) One of our children has clearly done something wrong to them, 3) I do not know either of these people well so as I mentioned in my first post on this matter - I do not have enough information to make an accurate assessment.
This is what I can say about it. What a huge waste of time, effort, worry and everything else that has gone into this. It's a matter that could have been resolved 2 months ago in 20 minutes.
So here is today's lesson folks - Take Time to Talk to Parents Too. Call them or go to their home. Email, while efficient and non-invasive can be misconstrued and lead to more issues. Just go talk. Now I will say to those of you with younger children (both of these people have younger kids) that you are in a stage of life with your kids where you can just opt not to invite certain kids over for playdates and make everything go away. That doesn't last. The only thing that solves problems is open dialogue. Get used to talking to other kids and their parents now. You would want someone to let you know about your child before a situation got out of hand.
**As a note to clarify the "incidents" that I speak of so the level of behavior is not misconstrued. Our son has been ringing doorbells and running. We know there are others too as some incidents have occurred on specific nights that this particular child was not at our house.
I am still very interested to hear others' thoughts on this matter.
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